As I sit here and think about all of the changes that are coming, I can't seem to also shake the thoughts of what won't come.
The only sad thing about this whole journey from TTC to now being pregnant, is the inability to share this with two off the most important women o my entire life... my Mom and stepmom. In so many ways they were my strengths and security. My Mom had a lot of issues with addiction so I spent most of my life taking care of her but that never stopped me from needing her as my Mom. She always had a way of making me feel loved unconditionally. She believed in me and made me believe in myself.
My stepmom was a parent to me in the traditional sense. She showed me boundaries and structure, while also showing me love and guidance. She was an excellent Mom Mom to my daughter B and helped me raise her the first 4 yrs of her life. I am so very grateful for that. Sadly she never got to meet my son J.
I am very fortunate to have the best mother in law ever who always makes me feel welcomed and loved. She has been an excellent Grandmom to both of my kids. I take comfort in knowing she is here.
I think during my labor I will bring something of my Mom's and something of my stepmom's to give me strength and comfort when I need it most.
It is sad that J and your next baby won't get to know your mom and step mom. But any and all lessons you learned from them you can pass on to your kids.
ReplyDeleteI am not pregnant yet but my wife and I feel the same way. Going through this whole TTC process especially talking about conceiving in March (which will be two years since C's mom past away) makes things super bittersweet. We just try to believe in a higher power (we aren't very religious people) and hope that in some way our future child(ren) will meet those people who have passed on in a special way. Hang in there :)!
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